There is a question, which has been on my mind for some time now. I have tried asking myself, but I cannot really come to any clear conclusion, so I thought that asking here would help me. I haven't been a good Muslim throughout my life. Even though my parents tried hard and are still trying to teach me the values of Islam, I've had problems embracing these. However lately my interest towards my religion has grown, and I have started praying and listening to the Holy Quran. So here comes my question: When I listen to someone reciting the Quran, whether through the TV or radio, I start to cry uncontrollably. The same happens during prayer. What does this mean? Is it remorse for previously neglecting my duties as a Muslim? Thank you for your time.
Waleed Ahmed Najmeddine
Thank you for your important and interesting question.
Before attempting to interpret your situation, I must say that it is a very good sign that the Quran brings tears to your eyes. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has said that the Hellfire is forbidden to touch the eyes of the one who shed tears at the remembrance of Allah. I will try to offer some ideas but ultimately, however, you are the one who needs to answer this question for yourself!
Each and every one of us is prone to forgetfulness and making mistakes because we are human beings. We have been created with many imperfections that challenge our ability to stay on the straight path of guidance all the time. When we make mistakes or commit sins we only regret them if we realize that they are wrong. Out of our own weaknesses; we either commit these sins due to our ignorance or even due to our arrogance and disobedience to Allah.
If our heart has become dry due to our too many sinful acts, we become less likely to feel remorse or regret for those actions. Once we come to the realization that these actions are actually harming us we see the great Mercy of Allah in His commands, advices and prohibitions. We realize that Allah, out of His infinite Mercy, only commands us to do what is beneficial for us and to avoid what harms us.
It is quite likely that deep down you have come to the realization that some of what you have practiced in the past was wrong and now you are hoping that Allah will forgive these things and guide you on His straight path. The good news is that Allah has told us in the Quran that He can forgive any sin, no matter how serious, but He will never forgive the sin of associating partners with Him, if a person dies on that belief.
Allah has also promised us that if we turn sincerely to Him in repentance, He will forgive all of our past sins and maybe even turn them into good deeds! The only condition is that we repent for practicing our past sins, believe in the message of Islam and begin making good deeds our top priority in life.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has said in an authentic hadith the meaning of which is:
“Every son of Adam is a sinner, but the best of sinners are the ones who turn [away from sin] in repentance [to Allah].” (At-Tirmidhi)
All of us make mistakes, and we always will. The best of us are those who recognize their mistakes for what they are, quickly seek Allah’s forgiveness and sincerely promise trying to avoid repeating those sins in the future.
I hope this has helped you to understand the situation you, and all of us, are in.
May Allah guide you and all of us to what pleases Him and grants us success in this life and the next. Ameen.
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