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How To Convince My Husband to Pray?

Question and answer details
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2014/08/14
As Salaamu Ailkum, I have been married for a while. My husband has stopped making salat. I cannot even remember the last time we have prayed together. Typically, when the salat time comes in, I go off alone and pray by myself. When I tell him it is time to pray, he does nothing. When I ask him if he intends to pray, he says no. Every time I bring up his lack of prayer, he makes me feel bad for judging him. I don't know what to do. I love my husband. I tell him all the time that I am not perfect, and I am not judging him, I am just very concerned about his lack of faith. I told him that the salat is what separates a believer from a non-believer and he doesn't seem to even care. We have 2 small sons; age 6 and 8 who look to him for an example. How can I teach my sons Islam and the importance of prayer, if they never see their father pray?
Dr. Mohsen Haredy
Answer

Salam dear sister,

Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

We highly appreciate your concern for your husband and your keenness on raising your children according to the correct teachings of Islam.

What your husband is experiencing is the result of laziness. Do not doubt the faith of your husband. He just needs to strengthen that faith. Do not let Satan make you think that your husband denies the obligation of prayer. He is just lazy about it.

Your turn, first, is not to let this issue affect your relationship with him. He ought to be treated gently and kindly.

Remember that when you talk to your husband about prayer, do this indirectly. Talk to him with wisdom and good speech as this is the best way of advising people. Allah says in the Qur’an:

{Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good speech.} (An-Nahl 16:125)

Choose the good time to talk to him about Prayer. You know the keys to his heart; smart women know when to talk to their husbands and when not.

Tell him kind words that encourage him to establish the Prayer. Praise his honesty and love for you and your kids. Remind him that Prayer is what connects him with Allah and it is the cause of all blessings in your life.

Tell him good stories about the impact of prayer in Muslims’ life. Always remind him of the place that prayer occupies in Islam, and that it is the first act of worship we will be held accountable for on the Day of Judgment.

Let patience be your motto in inviting your husband to perform the prayer. Always remember that people who show patience will get limitless rewards.

I am happy that you perform the prayer on time. This is in itself a good way of advising him. Be always an example of the good Muslim.

Remind him that quitting the prayer is a great sin, but at the same time Allah is always there to accept the prayer once he performs it and all his sins will be wiped out.

My first and foremost piece of advice is to make duaa (supplication) to Allah to guide your husband to the best. Always remember Allah’s words:

{Call on Me; I will answer you.} (Ghafir 40:60)

Choose the best times to discuss this issue with him. Choose your words and avoid words that might anger him. Tell him that it would be great if he accompanies the kids to the mosque and pray together in the mosque.

Start with the Friday Prayer and remind him of its importance in the life of Muslims as it marks the weekly festival where Muslims meet and exchange greetings and visit each other.

Try to introduce him to family relatives who perform the Prayer regularly. Ask them to visit him at the prayer time so that they can pray together.

Make it a habit to go to the mosque together for Friday prayer or Isha prayer, and after the prayer, invite him for a walk so that you break the daily routine.

Once your husband starts to perform the prayer, give him a present and be sure that he will never forget this valuable present.

Do your best to train your kids on how to perform the prayer regularly. If asked about their father’s negligence of the prayer, you can tell them that mothers in the past did not pay much attention to teach their kids how to pray. Tell them that it is a matter of time and their father will join them in performing the prayer.

Always put your trust in Allah and be sure that He will guide your husband to the best.

I hope this answers your question.

Salam and please keep in touch.

Useful Links:

Help Me Overcome Laziness in Performing Prayers

Praying is His Only Problem

Shall I Refuse My Husband's Bed If He Does Not Pray?

Come to Prayer! Come to Success!


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