Looking at myself through the eyes of others

Question and answer details
a poor puppy
Looking at myself through the eyes of others
I am a 16 years old girl. I am ugly (have small eyes and a big flat nose). I ask my best friends do they think so. They said yes. My mother also agrees with me to have plastic surgery. Is plastic surgery (to make someones look better) is allowed for a Muslim?
Hwaa Irfan
As-salaamu alaykum my daughter.

You do not seem to think very much of yourself do you? What do you think of Whoopi Goldberg? You know the black American actress? You know the one that is always up to mischief and always makes me laugh? Does she make you laugh? I pray you know who I am talking about here but anyway, she is as I said already, an actress-comedian. By the description you have given of yourself you remind me of her, but I can bet that she does not consider herself to be ugly. In fact it is unlikely that she even looks at herself from that point of view. Anyway how would I know I have never met her, but you know what I like about her? That she has accepted herself as she is and has made the most of her personality. She has the kind of personality that can make you think and understand a problem and at the same time find a solution and still have time to enjoy life. She will allow you to be yourself – that is not always easy to find. Her looks did not stop her. Are you going to make your looks stop you from enjoying life. In fact what makes Whoopi Goldberg so attractive is her inner beauty. That is a precious thing to have for it stays with you always, situations allowing - unlike the physical beauty that while one has it tells you nothing about the person except the possibility that they must be quite vain therefore very boring or fades into older age. If this beauty is brought about by plastic surgery then the likelihood of it lasting is far less.

I dare you to take a look in the mirror and thank Allah s.w.t. for giving you ears, eyes, a mouth and nose for there are those who do not have those features or due to war have lost some of those features. Then think about the things that you can do which some children can not because of war or poverty which has taken away these opportunities. Then think about the things that you would like to do especially once you finish school. How would you like to be treated as someone who has a valuable contribution to make or has someone that other take for granted because they only see you for your beauty?

Realize that Allah s.w.t. does not do anything without a good reason. Maybe for instance you would be distracted by looking good all the time when you have the potential to develop qualities that are longer lasting and with those qualities to do something quite constructive or creative or both. If we change what Allah s.w.t. has given to us when it is not life threatening then it like rejecting what He has given to us and in that rejection we lose so many qualities that would benefit us personally, benefit others and would strengthen our Islam. For all the riches and all the wealth, how many of those people are really content. Beyond the material gains what have they achieved that can help them make sense of their lives?

Realize that your life is more precious than that so try not to waste anymore time for the period of adolescence does not last forever, get on and make the most at home, at school and with your friends for this period of your life only happens once and once you get older you will have to many other things to do and will reflect back and wished that you had not wasted your time worrying about your looks. Besides genuine friendships require understanding, consideration, compassion and at college your intelligence is required and when you marry you want to be valued for yourself, but looks will not be enough in any of these aspects of your life.

Take care of yourself – fi-aman-Allah and for further information try the following links:-

Islam’s Stance on Plastic Surgery