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I Sometimes Feel Depressed Because I'm Too Short

Question and answer details
L (22-male-US)
2011/05/07
As-salam 'alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu! I am a 22 year old male, and I think I am about 5'1 or so. I am very short compared to most people around me. I do feel insecure because of my height. Even all my brothers (except my twin brother) are all taller than me. I am not that sad, because I know it could have been worse for me. I am thankful for what I have. But at times I do feel sad for being so short and I can't help it I can't help it when I get these feelings. I know there are more important things to worry about, like getting closer to Allah (subhana wat`ala).What's your advice for me? How should I handle these feelings?
Dr. ‘Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah
Answer

As-salamu `alaikum dear brother,

Thank you for your question. Every single human being on earth has something that he/she can complain about and not be satisfied with. It's very easy to critique our lives and look at all the things that we don't like. That is a normal part of being human.

What Allah constantly remains us about in the Qur'an, however, is to appreciate what we have, i.e. all the blessings that we have and have received in our lives - every beat of the heart, every breath we take, every day we wake up with health, food and shelter, our families, our ability to walk, think and laugh, etc. etc. That is why Allah says if you try to list them all and keep track of all the blessings you will never be able to quantify them.

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player , was dying of AIDS he had gotten from infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From the world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over -- 50,000,000 children start playing tennis, 5,000,000 learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5,000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 the semi-finals, 2 the finals. When I was holding my championship cup I never asked GOD "Why me?" And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong, Sorrow keeps you Human, Failure Keeps you Humble, Success keeps you Glowing, But only God keeps you Going...

Never Compare Yourself to Others!

Remember, brother, NO ONE ON THIS EARTH IS PERFECT. If you constantly compare yourself to others and dwell on what you don't have, you will be sad, frustrated and dissatisfied with what Allah has given you. You will definitely FIND something to lament over.

As Muslims, however, our way should be the opposite. Remembering Allah as frequently as possible will keep us focused on gratitude. Make GRATITUDE your way, rather than being upset with what you are not or what you don't have. You have that choice, which is why Allah has challenged us in the Qur'an to be grateful and find things to be grateful about. Try it... it works!!

 

For further guidance, please try the followin links:


About the Counselor:

Dr. `Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah is a Research Fellow at the Institute for Social Science Study’s Community Education and Youth Studies Laboratory, Universiti Putra Malaysia. He received his B.A. from the University of Delaware (U.S.), his M.S. from Columbia University (U.S.) and his PhD from the Institute for Community & Peace Studies (PEKKA), Universiti Putra Malaysia in 2005 in the field of Youth Studies. Abd. Lateef is an American who has been living in Malaysia since 2001. He is married and has 2 children.

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. You are strongly advised to seek face-to-face counseling and consult your physician or therapist when making a drastic change in your lifestyle in terms of behavior, medication or diet etc.


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