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In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

As-salamu `alaikum Brother,

Thank you for sending us your question. It seems like you are experiencing low self-esteem based on your physical appearance. This is one of the major issues that affect self esteem in many individuals everywhere. I ask Allah to give you the self confidence to love yourself and to strive to bring out the best in you.

The television and media have constantly implanted in our brains what men and women “should” look like to be considered beautiful. In general, we are taught that women are supposed to be thin and tall and men are supposed to be tall and muscular to be considered beautiful to have some kind of worth or value.

Reality is far from this tainted ideal. Allah has created us all in different colors and forms. It is impossible for all human beings to all have the same “look.” It is from Allah’s mercy that we have different features, colors, frames, heights, etc. We must understand that this false ideal that the media and society has put on us has really no basis.

Our self worth should NEVER be based on our outward appearance; rather, it should be based on our character as mentioned in the Quran: “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted” (49:13).

This verse tells us that Allah has created us all in varieties in order for us to appreciate and get to know one another. Allah continues the verse with the understanding that human beings naturally think better of themselves and less of people who are different from them. Allah concludes the verse with the statement “the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous.”

Allah directly tells us that the best one of us is the most righteous, and not the one who has the most money or the best looking. Allah wants us to spend our time thinking about our hearts and investing in perfecting our character. That is the key to being happy and content with our lives.

In your question, you mentioned that you feel sad and upset due to your belief that you are short. The source of your sadness is that you are comparing yourself to other people and to what society has put as a standard for beauty.

To stop this sadness, you have to start accepting who you are and appreciate yourself. Look into yourself and identify the things that you like. What are you good at? What do you like about your character? Since you are young, who do you want to become? Where do you want to be in five years?

When you start appreciating your strengths, you start to believe in yourself. Your self-esteem increases and you feel good in your own skin. You value yourself based on your character and actions and not your looks.

When you deal with other people, you start to also appreciate their character and hold them in high regard for their actions and not so much their looks anymore. People’s outward appearances become more superficial and less important.

With time, the people around you will also start to appreciate who you are because you would have enough self-esteem to naturally show the best in you. Those who appreciate you will think less of your height. Those who are shallow or jealous of your high self-esteem might continue to make fun of you, but those are people that you do not want to associate with anyways. May Allah help you to accept and appreciate yourself!

For further guidance, please try the followin links:

• I Sometimes Feel Depressed Because I'm Too Short
• I Don't Like The Way I Look. I Have A Curved Nose
• Looking at Myself Through the Eyes of Others
• Looking for More than What Meets the Eye
• How Do I Learn to Love Myself
• How to Stop Worrying