Question and answer details
|As-salamu `alaykum. Dear brothers and sisters, I would like you to explain something about divorce for me. I wish to divorce my husband. So, I'm not sure about how I can do that. I asked for advice and the answer I got was: "According to Shari`ah, a female does not have the right to divorce. She may request him to issue a divorce if there is not scope of reconciliation." What does that mean? My husband refuses divorce and I definitely don't want him in my life anymore. How can I divorce if he refuses it? Does that mean I need to stay with him against my will, because female doesn't have the right to divorce and he strictly opposes? I have several reasons for divorce; he is too controlling, too jealous, and abusive. Sometimes he treats me as maid, and life with him become impossible. We spoke and he doesn't have the wish to change his attitude. He is happy with how he behaves although he makes me unhappy. He imagines he is some kind of sultan or who knows what and I'm sick of it. So, I did what I could, I tried to speak to him to find a solution, to compromise, but he refused that too and we came to the divorce. He says he will not give me a divorce ever. What am I supposed to do now? How can I get separation from him forever? Why don't I have the right to issue a divorce by Shari`ah law? What law is that which makes me suffer more?|
Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Marriage is built basically on love and agreement. So, Islam does not force a spouse to live with a partner he or she does not love. But spouses should save no effort to maintain their relation and not to simply resort to divorce as it is the most hateful allowed thing in Allah’s eyes.
In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states,
Islam does not force anyone to stay in a marriage that he or she does not wish for. Therefore, you have the right to seek the divorce from your husband if you cannot live with him. However, you cannot simply divorce him by uttering the words by yourself. You need to do so through the legal system in your country.
If there is a Shari`ah court that has the legal authority to dissolve the marriage, you may approach them. Otherwise, you need to go through the legal system (the court of the land). Once the court has issued the divorce, it can be endorsed as a valid Islamic divorce by the imam of the mosque.
Allah Almighty knows best.