OnIslam.net

Sex Education, Marriage, and Menses (Live Fatwa)

Questions and Answers of Live Fatwa Session With SH. Ahmad Kutty
Kutty

On Wednesday, March 06, 2013, we managed to run a successful e-mail based Live Fatwa session with Sheikh Ahmad Kutty on Sex Education, Marriage, Menses and Other Issues”.

Interestingly, users reacted positively and sent their questions via the Fatwa section’s e-mail address in and ahead of the session’s time. The honorable guest, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty kindly responded to all the questions.

 

Below you can review all the questions and Sh. Kutty's kind replies:


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Question 1:  Jeff

What does Islam think about aliens or life beyond earth not including the heavens and hell? Jazak Allah kahyran.

Answer:

All that we can say about this with certainty is that Allah has created multiple worlds with creatures, and continues to do so. The worlds invisible are far greater in number than the visible ones. We already know that the creatures of the ocean outnumber the creatures in the land; and that the scientific knowledge about them so far only cover a small percentage as compared to what we have yet to discover. And Allah tells that He is always creating! Hence the concept of Ever Expanding Universe.

However, in the absence of any explicit texts, we cannot indulge in speculations on such matters as they belong to the realm of ghayb or matters beyond human cognition.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 2:

Lying for Dawar

Adeeb

Is it permissible to lie while doing daw`ah? For example recently an Indian preacher posted that the Vatican pope embraced Islam, also in peace TV the lecture videos are edited to show a lecture is attended by more people if the there were few people in crowd. Will this not harm daw`ah and raise doubts among people and break the trust? Please, explain what is to be done.

Answer:

Islam is all about truth and truthfulness; therefore, if anyone resorts to lies and falsehood and thrives on spreading false information, he is not serving the cause of Islam; rather regardless of his intention, he is definitely serving the cause of Satan. Islam is not in need of such

As Imam Fudhayl b. Iyad said, “For any action to be virtuous and acceptable in the sight of Allah, it must meet two conditions: firstly, the act itself must be sanctioned or approved by Allah; secondly, it must be done with the best of intentions to serve Him and Him alone.”

Therefore, the actions of those who resort to such dubious and deceptive methods are reprehensible indeed. They are being used by Devil. We may do well to remember that he is subtle, devious and deceptive in his methods, as the Quran tells us plainly. May Allah protect us against the snares of Satan.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 3:

Shelina – 28 – Female – US

`Umrah

Asalamualaikum. My question is: can a woman change her jilbab before starting `Umrah but after being in the state of ihram? Say if her jilbab has some nifaq or it’s sweaty and wants to put on a fresh jilbab before starting `Umrah, is it allowed to change? Also while/after leaving the house and before approaching miqat, can one put on deodorant?

Answer:

Islam stresses cleanliness. Therefore, there is nothing objectionable about changing one ihram garb for another. It was done by the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his companions; hence, it is not at all a contentious issues among scholars.

As for deodorants and scents, you cannot use them after assuming ihram (i.e. formulating the intention). You are allowed to use them prior to it. The Prophet (peace be upon him) applied scent/perfume before formulating his intention for ihram- as reported by his beloved wife Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her).

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 4:

Zullie – 18 – Female – Australia

Guilt and Prayer

Salam, I'm eighteen and for the past year I have not been praying on a regular basis, especially for the past few months. I’m sad to say the prayer has been pretty much nonexistent. I feel horrible about it. I know the devil is playing with me but I also feel like a hypocrite or that I don’t deserve to go back to Allah (swt) I want to, but that feeling is stopping me. I also don’t know how to go back. Do I do it all at once (i.e. just jump into praying all 5 prayers everyday) or do I take it gradually?

There is so much I don't understand and I feel like I don't deserve to be close to Allah (swt) because I didn’t pray properly for the past year. I honestly feel like a horrible person. Please, help me.

Answer:

I pray to Allah to bless you in your efforts to come closer to Him.

In this regard, you ought to know two important points: 1. Allah is all-Merciful and forgiving and He will accept you into His mercy once you repent sincerely and take concrete steps towards Him.  He says, “When my servants come walking to Me, I will come running to him or her.” So, you need to believe in Allah and never hesitate to seek His forgiveness.

2. It is important for you to believe in yourself and believe in the help of Allah. If you do so, you will be able to overcome and defeat the Devil who is pulling you to his side.

However, it takes more than wishful thinking; it takes real action on your part. If you wish to know how to overcome laziness and empower yourself, you may access my answer here:

http://askthescholar.com/question-details.aspx?qstID=621

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 5:

Hadith

Adeeb

Is this hadith authentic?

- The hadith included by al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak and by al-Baihaqi in Dala’il al- Nubuwwa from the narration of Umar Ibn al-Khattab [may Allah be pleased with him], who said, "The Prophet [pbuh] said, "When Adam sinned he said, O Allah! I ask for Your forgiveness for the sake of Muhammad (pbuh)." Allah asked him, "How do you know Muhammad (pbuh) when I have not yet created him?" He (Adam) said, "O Allah! After you created me and breathed into me of your soul I raised my head and saw 'There is no god but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah' written on the Throne. I then came to know that You would not put anyone's name next to Yours except the name of the one who is dearest to You from among creation." Allah said, "O Adam! You have spoken the truth. Indeed, he [Muhammad] is the dearest to me from among all creation. Supplicate to me through his sake for indeed I have forgiven you. If it were not for Muhammad, I would not have created you" [Al-Hakim declared it authentic and al-Taqi as-Subki declared it fair in Shifa` as- Siqam].

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Is this sahih?

- Ad-Dailami recorded in al-Firdaws bi Ma`thur al-Khitab through Ibn 'Abbas [may Allah be pleased with them both] that the Prophet [pbuh] said, "Jibril came to me and said: 'Allah said: 'If it were not for you [Muhammad] I would not have created Paradise and if it were not for you I would not have created Hellfire." The same hadith was mentioned by Ibn 'Asakr in Tarikh Dimishq from the narration of Salman al-Farsi in his wording: "I have created the world and its inhabitants to demonstrate your honor and status [I hold you in]. And if it were not for you O Muhammad, I would not have created the world."

- Al-Hakim included in Al-Mustadrak and Abu al-Sheikh in Tabaqat al-Asfahanin through Abdullah Ibn 'Abbas [may Allah be pleased with them both] a hadith mawquf which states: "Allah revealed to Isa [pbuh] and said: 'O Isa! Believe in Muhammad and order those from among your people who will be present at his time to believe in him. For if it were not for Muhammad, I would not have created Adam and if it were not for Muhammad, I would not have created Paradise or Hellfire. I have placed the throne over water and it quavered, but when I wrote on it that there is no Deity except Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, it became still" [Al-Hakim declared it authentic. Bukhari and Muslim did not record it].

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Hadith

Is this hadith authentic? Please, give reference! The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Musa (pbuh) asked Allah Almighty, “‘My Lord! Which one is the dearest to You among Your creatures?’ Allah Almighty said, ‘The one who has the power to take revenge, yet forgives.’” (Mishkat)

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Assalaamu alaikum

Please, give reference of below hadith and whether it’s authentic or not: “ A true Muslim is the one who does not defame or abuse others; but the truly righteous becomes a refuge for humankind, their lives and their properties.” Prophet Muhammed

Answer:

I can only provide brief answers to the above questions, as this is not the forum to expound on the science of hadith.

  1. As for the first hadith you have cited, it has been judged as fabricated by eminent critics of hadith such as Imam Dhahabi, among others; its chain of transmission has links who are considered as either liars and fabricators or weak. So, we must never cite such traditions while attributing them to the Prophet (peace be upon him). As Imam Ibn al-Mubarak said: “Isnad is an essential integral of religion for if not for the isnad, everyone would have made up his own religion!”
  2. The same is true of the next two hadiths you have cited; they are either fabricated or weak according to the judgments of Dhahabi, Ibn Taymiyyah and others.
  3. I am not able to trace the hadith you have referred to from Mishkaat. However, I should remind you that not all of the traditions cited in Mishkaat are judged as authentic or good; there are a number of weak or dubious ones included in it. So, one must never simply base a point of aqidah or rule of law on such dubious traditions.
  4. This hadith should be better translated as follows: “A  true Muslim is one from whose tongue and hadiths other people are safe; a true believer is one whom people can trust in regards to the safety of their wealth and lives.” This is a sound hadith as judged by the eminent critics of hadith such as Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani and others.

A final note: It is important for us Muslims to know that we have sufficiency in the traditions that are well attested and authenticated by our esteemed scholars.

Furthermore, the Prophet (peace be upon him) is the servant and Messenger of Allah; he is the seal of prophets and the beloved of Allah. However, he always advised us against any forms of deification or excessive veneration as the Christians resorted to in regards to Jesus, peace be upon him. So, we must never go overboard in praising the Prophet (peace be upon him). He is made to declare in the Qur’an, “Say [O Prophet]: "I am but a mortal man like all of you. It has been revealed unto me that your God is the One and Only God. Hence, whoever looks forward [with hope and awe] to meeting his Sustainer [on Judgment Day], let him do righteous deeds, and let him not ascribe unto anyone or anything a share in the worship due to his Sustainer!"(Qur’an:18: 110).

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 6:

Female Muslim – 19 – Female – Pakistan

Having Haram Relation

I don’t how to start but I will tell you that I recently started practicing Islam properly...and I was really happy for myself. I started wearing hijab and I stopped listening to music and all other things which are prohibited. But soon after that my cousin proposal came and it seems that insha’ Allah there will be no problem in this rishta but I have started talking to him and I have stopped myself from every other sins but in this case I am helpless. I need to know what I should do. Soon they will send rishta but I don’t know why I can’t control it has become my weakness. I feel myself as munafiq. Please, do reply to me soon I need your help.

Answer:

Your sin indeed is grave; however, there is no need for you to despair of  Allah’s mercy, for He has promised to forgive those who repent sincerely. So, you need to ask forgiveness of Allah.

However, if you only spoke with him and did not isolate yourself with him or indulge in any illicit activities, there is no need to overly worry on what you have done.  In Islam, you are allowed to speak to the prospective candidate prior to the marriage.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 7:

Islam and Communication

Communication

What are the Qur’an, hadith and fiqh telling about communication and how they communicate with people?

Answer:

Communication is a highly crucial area for us to consider not only in our interaction with people in ordinary life but also in conveying the message of Islam otherwise known as da’wah. This is an issue that requires detailed treatment; I can only mention a few important points here:

  1. Allah tells us to speak to people kindly and gently. The prophet is praised for his gentleness and affection in dealing with people. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Allah is gentle and He loves gentleness in all things.” This applies even when we speak to a tyrant: Allah ordered His chosen Messengers Musa and Harun to speak to Pharoah gently!
  2. We are ordered to be humble and avoid being boastful, self-righteous or arrogant.
  3. We are also told to call the people to Allah with wisdom
  4. While calling the people to Islam we are to speak to people in the most gracious manner
  5. If we are insulted or treated or spoken to abusively by ignorant ones we are to walk away saying peace.
  6. Finally, communication always involves listening what the other side has to day. So, a good preacher should be a listener first before he learns the art of speaking. The Prophet listened more than he spoke, and when he spoke he spoke clearly and succinctly, always keeping the level of the people he was communicating with. Thus, we read in a hadith, when the Prophet spoke to a child the child would think he was also a child; if he were to speak to an elderly person, likewise he would think he was an elderly person like him too!

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 8:

Adeeb

Marriage

Is it allowed to call your father & mother in laws as dad and mom?

Answer:

This is a good practice; we have precedents for this in the sources. Thus, the Prophet referred to Umm Ayman (the maid who cared for him after his mother) as ‘my mother after my mother’. So, you may call your mother-in- law as mother and father- in- law as father. By doing so you are only showing your respect for them. You know  they not your biological parents.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 9:

M. Ashraf

Meaning of "Ullul Azam"

Dear Sir,

Assalamu Alaikum. May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you.

Hope your good self and your family is fine by the help of our Allah Most High. Please, provide the exact meaning of “Ullul Azam”. Jazak Allahu Khayran. Allah Hafiz. M. Ashraf.

Answer:

There is no such term used in Islam; you may have misspelled the words; it could be ‘ulu al-amr’ which means those who are entrusted with authority.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 10:

Salam Aleikom brother Anas,

Name of Allah in Capitals

I have a question for the fatwa section of Onislam if it's possible. There were more than one person on the facebook page who left a comment that we should write the name of Allah with all capital letters and the salutation after His name to "not miss any good deed."

So I wish to ask them about this that is it necessary to:

1- Write Allah as ALLAH? I thought only the first letter needs to be capitalized.

2- To say after His name '3zzawajal'  is something required or sunna or just people say it out of respect? Because many books doesn't write anything after the name of Allah and most people when they say the name Allah, they say it without adding anything after it.

I just want to clarify it who is right and post the correct view on this in sha' Allah. Could you pass my question to them? JazakAllah kahyran! Best time.

Answer:

You need to capitalize only the first letter; there is no need to capitalize all the letters.

It is a good practice to say ‘azza wa jalla after the name of Allah; however, it is neither mandatory nor a sunnah. If it had been such, then the Prophet would have said so or practiced it always; we know that was not the case. On numerous occasions he did utter the name of Allah without adding the above mentioned phrase. So, there is no need for us to be rigid over this issue.

Having said this let me also point out: At all times we must revere the name of Allah.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 11:

Abi – 22 – Male – India

Sex Education

Recently I browsed in internet about "What a man should do to please his wife (sexually)". Also I am not married, after reading all those things I got stimulated and out of control I masturbated. Is that wrong? I masturbated because I read how to solve the problem of early ejaculation. In that article which I read, they told that we should practice by different methods. Is this allowed in Islam?

Answer:

It was wrong on your part to read this piece of information and then allow yourself to get stimulated. If you are not a married person, it was even worse.

So, I urge you to repent to Allah and never allow yourself to get carried away by visiting such sites or reading such information. We are accountable for what we see, hear, read and think about.

However, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful towards those who repent and ask forgiveness of Him; so, I urge you to do that.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 12:

L Kuraishi – 39 – Female – Canada

Menses

Assalamu `alaikum. If I got my period before the lapse of 21 or 22 days between my last period and the current month’s period, should I still observe my fast before the 21st day? Getting the period on the 19th day is not part of my normal cycle. Please, advise me. Jazak Allah.

Answer:

If you have a had regular pattern of menstruating seven or eight days every month then that is considered your regular period; what happens after can be due to chronic condition known as istihadhah. Rules of istihadah are not the same as those of menses; so you may perform ghusl after the normal days of menses, and then resume your prayers, but if you are still bleeding, you need to wash your private parts and renew wudhu prior to each prayer you are performing.

For details on istihadhah you may search for the detailed answers by inserting this word at the search engine.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 13:

Zaynab – 15 – Female – Canada

Hijab

Salam, I am a Muslim girl, and I wear the hijab. I wear jeans and a long top down to at least my knees. My dad wants me to wear the long hijab, and a black one. I know I have to, and I will soon, I just don’t think I’m ready right now. My hijab isn’t bad as it is. I guess my dad just wants to control everything. I know I have to wear a long hijab and I will, just not now I’m not ready. I still have school, and it gets really hot. I won’t be wearing it for the right reasons. What should I do?

Answer:

There is no need for you to wear a jilbab- if you don’t want to-as long as you wear modestly. You can still fulfill the requirement without wearing a jilbab. All that is required of you is to cover your whole body except your face and hands with loose pants, shirts, etc. for details you may access the answer here:

http://askthescholar.com/question-details.aspx?qstI

However, you should try your best to please your parents and be respectful of them.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 14:

Linda – 31 – Female – Canada

Infidels

As-salamu `alaikum. Will we get the chance on the Day of Judgment to confront the infidels for what they did to us on earth?

Answer:

Justice on the Last Day is transparent; no one can get away from it by paying money or peddling influence. So, if you wish to confront your oppressors you should be able to do that.

We learn from the Qur’an, there will be exchanges between those destined for heaven and those destined for hell.

We also learn that even a sparrow which is unjustly killed will appear before the Lord of worlds seeking justice! So, I wonder how much accounting those who wage wars of aggression and occupation will be subjected to for  causing deaths of millions of lives. I pray to Allah to save us all from such heinous crimes!

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 15:

Linda – 31 – Female – Canada

Hell & Heaven

As-salamu `alaikum. I read that there are 7 levels of Hell. Will a person who is sent the Hell, forever or temporary, would they stay in one level or do they experience each level as a punishment? Will a person who is accepted to heaven stay in that one level forever?

Answer:

I must confess I cannot answer this question as I do not recall any text on this. However, what I know for sure is that those with even iota of faith in their hearts will be eventually taken out of hellfire and admitted to jannah either by the sheer mercy of Allah or through the intercession:  Each prophet will intercede on behalf of his ummah. And the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) will intercede on behalf of his ummah. I pray to Allah to make us among those who are blessed with the intercession of the Messenger of Allah (upon whom be peace and blessing of Allah).

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 16:

Sara Kashif – 35 – Female – Malaysia

Dreams

I accidently dreamt that I have sex with people other than my husband. Lately I have dreamt that I have sex with the prophet both vaginally and anally. In my dreams I try to resist but the act of succumbing to the prophet's desires arouses me and I wake up in a shocked and aroused state. Is this harrm and a sin?

Answer:

These are due to Satanic inspirations either because of your dwelling on such matters or because of your sins. I urge you to seek refuge in Allah and ask forgiveness, if you ever thought of the Messenger of Allah in this way! We can never entertain such thoughts about the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). If it happened in a dream you must never dwell on it; it is simply Satan posing as the Prophet (peace be upon him).

I would also urge you to seek your sexual fulfillment through your husband.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 17:

Amir Khan – 42 – Male – United

States

Flying on Airlines that serve alcohol?

Assalamu `alaikum brother! I would like to know the Islamic ruling on traveling/flying with airlines which serve alcohol on its flights on the routes where there are airlines which do not serve alcohol also fly? As you may be aware that there are not a lot of choices in the world today as Saudi & Pakistan International are the only options from US/Canada to middle east/south Asia. I also heard that there is a hadith that one is raised in the state he/she dies and with people he/she dies?

Answer:

There is no need for us to be overly rigid in such issues. We know that the Prophet (peace be upon him) as well as his companions used to partake foods and drinks from their pagan relatives and friends who used to drink. Moreover, although drinking is haram in Islam, in an Islamic state, this prohibition does not apply to non-Muslims. Therefore, even though we don’t drink, we don’t need to be concerned about the non-Muslims who drink.

Having said this let me also add: If you have doubts as to the permissibility of flying on airlines that serve alcohol then you may do well to avoid them. That is closer to piety for you.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 18:

Shereen Downey – 26 – Female – Canada

Marrying a Divorcee With a Child

As-salamu `alaikum. Bismillah, What are the rulings or Islamic views on a Muslim man marrying a divorced convert Muslimah whom has a child from a previous relationship? (She had the child before she reverted to Islam, but is trying to raise him on the straight path. Jazak Allah Khayr.

Answer:

There is nothing wrong for a Muslim in marrying a new Muslimah with a child born out of wedlock prior to her conversion. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “When a person embraces Islam, all his or her past sins are forgiven”. So, she cannot be faulted for her sins before Islam. Therefore, there is nothing wrong in marrying her. As for her child, he or she is not responsible for the crimes of their parents. Each person, in Islam, is accountable only for his or her own actions once they become adults.

So, by marrying the new Muslimah and accepting this innocent child and taking care of him or her you will merit great rewards. The child is like an orphan; the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The best house of Muslims is the one where an orphan is taken care of.”

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 19:

Ekbal – 29 – Female – Canada

Pregnancy and Fasting

I have not been fasting for the past two years due to pregnancy and breastfeeding. I am currently pregnant. Also, my husband and I plan to continue having children consecutively insha’ Allah for at least two more children. Is it acceptable for me to only pay the fidyah during this time period?

Answer:

There are two views on this: One view is that the women who are pregnant or breastfeeding who skip fast need not make up for their fasts; rather it is sufficient for them to pay the fidyah. Fidyah is to feed a poor person for each day of the fasts. This is the view of a number of companions including Ibn Abbas. The other view is that they should make up for the fasts thus missed; some say she should also pay the fidyah on top of making up.

If you find it hard for you to make up you may follow the view of Ibn Abbas. There is also report attributed to the Prophet (peace be upon him) to that effect.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 20:

Raya – 46 – Female – Canada

Divorce

What are my rights in divorcing? Do I have to accept the 3 talaqs if I didn’t do anything and as so as he said I replied not accepted till I get what is rightfully mine. Please, advise.

Answer:

If your husband has divorced you three times at once he has violated the laws of Allah. And, according to a number of esteemed scholars, such a pronouncement is considered only as a single divorce.

For details on divorce and Islamic procedures and rulings, you may refer to Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi’s answer linked below. http://www.onislam.net/english/ask-the-scholar/family/marital-relationships/174391.html

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 21:

AA – 23 – Female – Canada

Faith in Allah

Hi, salam. I have a problem and have been trying to find a solution for a long time. My problem is that I have a hard time trying to have a good impression of Allah. I’m mad at Allah because He allows for suffering in the world.

Also, because He allows for really evil things to happen when He has control to prevent this. For example I can’t stand that babies die from starvation. I want to be religious but something that stops me is that I’m always angry at god.

Answer:

I don’t have any answer to this mystery. I will never allow myself to question the will of Allah and His actions/

As humans, we cannot pretend to be able to fathom the divine wisdom in such matters, no matter how intelligent and wise we are.  However, we know for sure that God has given humans the choice; as such, He does not interfere in their exercise of choice. While giving us the choice, nevertheless He warned us against the consequences of our actions.

We are also told in no unambiguous terms that all those who suffer injustice or undue suffering here in this world will be compensated in the next world. The suffering or joy of this world can never be compared to those in the next world. Thus the Prophet tells us of two persons who will be brought before Allah: One of them had suffered the most here, and another had the best of times: He will expose the first one to the blissful state of paradise for an instant: Then God will ask him, “Did you ever experience any suffering?” He would reply, “Never, my Lord!” Next He will then call the person who enjoyed most here, and after exposing him to the torments of hell for an instant, He will ask him, “Did you ever experience any joy in your life”  and the man will reply, “Never, my Lord!”

In other words, this world may be full of sufferings for the righteous people and it may be joyful for the wicked. The situation, however, will be drastically different in the next world, and the life of the next world is eternal and ever lasting.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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Question 22:

A – 23 – Female – Saint Lucia

My Child and Ex Husband

Assalaamu `alaykum, respected Mufti. My question here is something that troubles deeply with each day that I walk this dunya. My ex husband and I made nikah in secret in October 2010 and I fell pregnant in October 2011 which is when we eventually had to tell our parents of our nikah and my pregnancy. We then took our parents blessing and made a second nikah and I went to live with him and his parents. I was treated so badly by his family.

Mufti, I cannot even begin to explain to you, mostly by his mother because she had so much hatred for me even before we married.

My husband never spoke for me due to his fear for his mother and in February 2012 we had a huge fight and his family prevented me from entering his home. After much talking my ex and I mutually decided to get divorced and he gave me one talaq.

I served my `iddah until July 2012 which is when my baby was born. My parents shed much anger and tears for me through these months and built so much hatred for my ex husband, although my ex husband and I still love one another. My parents have barred him from coming into our home and even seeing or doing anything for the child.

What does the QURAN AND HADEETH say about this? Also he now tells me how much he wants to reconcile and he makes sincere du`a’ to Allah Ta`ala for reconciliation. I have allowed him to see his son secretly on three occasions. If I go back to him, I would never ever want his parents to have anything to do with me or my son because of how I was treated. I would never take my ex husband away from his family though, that is his right.

What advice can you give me? Also, apart from the fact that a storm would enter my home if I told my parents I want to reconcile with him. Please, help I don’t know where else to turn.

Answer:

First of all, you were wrong in making a secret nikah. Such a concept is alien in Islam. Marriage cannot remain a secret affair for it is a social contract more than a religious act. Therefore, you entered this relationship on a wrong footing. Perhaps that was responsible for all the things that followed.

Anyhow, if you did repent, and asked forgiveness of Allah, you can hope for His forgiveness.

As for his mother’s treatments, if what you allege her is true, then she is being unjust to you. Injustice is indeed a grave sin in Islam. Those who are unjust will be accountable for their misdeeds before Allah. The Prophet referred to those who offend people and abuse them as the most bankrupt persons to appear before Allah on the Day of Judgment. They will be paying their victims with their own good deeds. And if their debts are still unpaid, they will be flung to the fire-pit.

However, you should forgive her if you can; that will be the best you can do. By this gesture of good will perhaps you can hope to change her heart.

Furthermore, you cannot reciprocate harm with harm; after all, she is your mother-in-law. Although you may not want to allow her to control you or your child, you can never stop her from seeing her grandson or her own son (i.e. your husband).

Allah tells us to forgive those who hurt us; for by doing so, we can hope to receive Allah’s forgiveness and mercy.

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Question: 23

Guia Samonte

Marriage of Converter

Salam. I just want to ask about marriage. I am a convert to slam from Christian and leaving and working here in UAE in 6 years. Is it possible to marry to a Muslim man? Even I married already to a Christian?

I've been married in the Philippines. Now I’m here in UAE and now I converted to Islam. So, I ask if it’s possible if I get married again to a Muslim man. What can I do?

And no divorce in my country and we are not the same belief now. He does not accept me as Muslim.

Answer

You cannot marry the man before finalizing your divorce with your husband. You may, however, apply to the shariah court in UAE for a divorce based on the facts you have mentioned. Once they grant you divorce, you may marry him.

Allah Almighty knows best.

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The editor of OnIslam Live Fatwa service.

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