I am really desperate for being a mum; but am I ready to carry this heavy responsibility? This was the major question that kept popping up in my head when I first started thinking of having a baby.
In the beginning, I said to myself "it's just a tiny human being; how hard it could be?" But when I looked closer to the whole picture I was astonished to find out that this five pound baby will change my life forever.
Where is the Problem?
What’s the problem of having a baby? Well, the answer is always vague and not clear to me. Sometimes I look at the ready part from the financial side only. Though it is important of course to be ready financially, but I guess with a saving plan I'll be able to handle this issue.
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Many times I pause for a while and start looking around at friends, relatives or even people I walk by in the streets with pushchairs in front of them; and I ask myself this question: "where is the problem? How can I be not ready to have a baby?"
After a while I start asking people around me: what is the hardest part in raising the first baby? Or when is the perfect time to have a child? But there was no clear cut answer that would relieve me from this bewilderment.
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| Many times I pause for a while and start looking around at friends, relatives or even people I walk by in the streets with pushchairs in front of them; and I ask myself this question: "where is the problem? How can I be not ready to have a baby?“ |
One day I woke up and I remembered my grandmother when she was talking to her daughters who were complaining of our fuss. I remembered clearly what she said: "if you decide to have a child, and then prepare yourself to change the life that you have always known forever. You won't be able to eat while sitting, or drink a cup of tea while relaxing and watching TV. It's a hard job and if you want it then be ready and don't complain because even at their worst moments and devilish actions they are a blessing from God that He granted to you and deprived someone else of; so be thankful for what you have."
I thought about these simple but profound words and became aware that the difficulty really lies inside how my life is going to change and whether I am ready to change it or not.
Yea I finally knew the meaning of readiness here and hence I need to prepare myself psychologically before getting into anything serious.
Learning from Others Mistakes
I have noticed that some new mums when they get pregnant they don't pay attention to this fact. Sometimes they keep complaining a lot about how tough it is to bear the responsibility of a child.
Therefore and because I didn't want to reach that same end, I decided to put some steps and questions ahead of me; if I could cross and solve them then I'm ready, if not then I'll wait for a while and there would be nothing wrong with it.
First, I need to talk with my husband. Having a baby is a parents’ decision at the end and I can't make it on my own. Also, he should help me in carrying this lovely package as well as he should present me his plan of how he is going to make this journey easier.
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| I'm not a physician or a psychiatrist to give you directions to follow; I just a new mum to be and I'm sharing my thoughts, fears and wishes with you. |
Second, I need to gather all the information I need about pregnancy and having a baby through reading or sharing others experiences. I started my search and made a list of some of the effective books about pregnancy and children.
Third, I guess now will be the perfect time for me to spend some hours with children and see how am I going to react to their impulsive actions. I am keen now to visit my friends who have recently delivered their children. I watch, learn and have a good time playing with lovely kids.
Finally, I prepared some questions to ask myself and promised me that I'll be honest when I answer them to be completely sure that I want a baby that will change my life forever. Here are they:
- Am I ready to share my body with another soul, i.e. the baby during his forming stages?
- Am I ready for all the physical changes that will take place to my body?
- Will I welcome them?
- Am I ready to follow a healthy diet and shun all the lovely but bad eating habits that I've always enjoyed?
Luckily, I was positive about all the pervious points so I told myself "Yes, I am ready." May be if you try these questions, you will find out that you are too.
Again I'm not a physician or a psychiatrist to give you directions to follow; I just a new mum to be and I'm sharing my thoughts, fears and wishes with you.
