OnIslam.net

I have heard many complaints from some converts to Islam, even from non-Muslims, about gender separation in Islam—in fact, it was one of my biggest fears after marriage. And the issue of segregation in Islam and Muslim cultures relates to women's rights and the concept of hijab.

But I have come to prefer gender segregation, usually, now that I have a better understanding about what it means and how to apply it.

I find the practice of gender separation to fall into three distinct categories which should be discussed separately; the first is of worship, seeking education, and lastly, social activities. And I view these three categories differently because the interaction between men and women is different in all three cases.

When it comes to worship, separation between men and women is clear and obvious, because it's based on clear evidence from the Sunnah. Although the evidence from the Sunnah is itself sufficient in proving that men and women should be separated at worship, the advice on the subject is also practical and easy to understand.

 For instance, a very common question when non-Muslims visit a mosque is, "Where do the women pray?" It’s common because in all likelihood, the guests were allowed to observe men praying, but not women. And they wondered where the women were, since observing that separation in Western culture is abnormal. The answer to this question is as simple as the question is common. Women are praying somewhere else--for logical and easy-to-understand reasons.

Through the Sunnah--the example from the teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him,—we learn that women should pray behind men, with the men's rows starting in the front, and the women's rows starting in the back. And while that is reason enough, it also just makes sense. As for the separation--can you imagine praying beside someone you're physically attracted to, with your body in close proximity--probably in contact--with theirs?  Some of us have trouble focusing even when we're alone--imagine how much it would be harder with the additional element of physical attraction (which, let's face it, is fairly normal.) When it comes to putting women in the back, I can say I personally would feel uncomfortable praying in front of a man, when he could easily watch my bottom. And while the postures of prayer bring amazing depth and realization to our lowliness before Allah, they also make certain body parts more prominent--especially when you're watching from behind.  For me, separation with ladies in the back seems an obvious and easy solution, without causing any offense.

When I understand this ideal--that women pray behind men, but in the same room clearly, I don't have any problem with the segregation, nor do I feel slighted by it.  But usually the complaint rears its head not when women are praying behind men, but when they are praying below them in a basement, above them in an attic, have trouble hearing, seeing, or even squeezing into a tiny cramped space which has been afforded them. Basically, it’s when the accommodations are clearly unequal. The problem then is not with the segregation, but with the accommodation--and each mosque facility has its own issues with accommodating women, and unfortunately a shortage of money or space often causes women to suffer. However, segregation is not the cause, nor is eliminating it the solution to the problem of inadequate accommodations.

 The second category of separation comes to educational activities—and in this situation I have taken a rather strong view. It can be very difficult for Muslims in non-Muslim countries to learn about Islam, and segregation often compounds the problem, when only the men (or the women) have access to the teacher and the information. So when providing education activities, special care should be taken to ensure that both men and women have the same access to the material and to the instructor. Otherwise, the one group (it’s usually—but not always—the women who suffer) will be disadvantaged when it comes to learning Islam. It is in the case of educational settings when segregation must be practiced carefully with special attention towards equality. Putting one group (i.e., women) in the back means they might not be able to see or hear as well, and are less likely to ask questions. Putting women in a separate room with only audio is worse than putting them in the back, and the worst offense of all is not even allowing women to attend. When a community observes these offenses, women need to rally themselves and with numbers (by attendance) prove why the status quo is insufficient for them, and provide a way to improve. Creating a space for women, or installing audio and video feeds can all gradually improve the situation without being too radical and offending people in the process.

The other times women might be segregated from men are at social events.  And actually, this kind of segregation used to trouble me most because of my cultural upbringing. In American culture, it is generally polite for men and women to interact equally at gatherings. And before I got married, I didn't see any problem with it. But looking back on my single life, I realize just how easy it is for a romantic attraction to spark between two people. Polite conversation between like-minded folks can easily lead beyond the bounds of friendship. I'm not saying that it always does, or even usually does--just that it can.

I also thought that hijab itself (women covering their bodies except for the face and hands) would preclude immodest activities and conversations. Wearing hijab for a short while, and socializing with other women who wear it, can easily clarify that misconception. Women who wear hijab are just as vulnerable to emotional attachment as other women. The hijab does act as one, but just one layer of protection, hopefully reminding the lady to be modest, as well as reminding the gentleman that the woman is not permissible to him outside of marriage.

A more important barrier is inward modesty on the part of both parties, which would cause them to act out of fear of Allah in their dealings with each other. But inward modesty need not be relied upon if one more barrier were in place to limit the risks of inter-gender social interaction. That last barrier is segregation.

 What I appreciate about Muslim gatherings now, after being married, is that I’m not placed in a situation where etiquette demands that I converse with men—men with whom there is no other practical reason to converse. And by avoiding that situation, I can avoid any deliberate or accidental flirting which might occur. The segregation actually protects both the men and women from this potentially troublesome scenario.

Nobody presumes that two strangers, after short conversation at a dinner party, will immediately senselessly involve themselves in an extramarital relationship. The beauty of Islam is that men and women who act according to Islam are protected from even coming close to sinful behavior. So what’s the problem with just chatting? A chat can easily turn to flirting, which can easily spark a romance.  Segregation says, "Just don't go there."

In countless other situations, men and women will interact with each other--and they should do so with utmost professionalism, and inward modesty. Women should also take care to cover themselves appropriately. There's no denying that the interaction will take place, but all I am suggesting is that in a purely social environment, there is no need for men and women to socialize with each other.

While there is some initial culture shock for Americans exposed to Islamic-style segregation, the benefits clearly outweigh any perceived failings of the behavior. After a few months of meeting only with women, I don't feel like I have been deprived of social interaction, and the more I think about it, the better I feel that I am not chatty with my husband's friends, and especially that he is not chatty with their wives.

So while the concept of segregation seems repugnant to American culture, when it comes to gender segregation in social settings (plus worship at mosques) I think the teachings of Islam guide us to a better and healthier path. Of course, the segregation should be fair, with neither side enduring hardship (tiny space, less food, etc.) while the other enjoys more hospitality. But when arrangements can be made equally for both parties, then segregation is the way to go.

Sister Amy Klooz is an American convert to Islam. Her blog, Daughter of Guidance, is located at http://ibnatalhidayah.blogspot.com. She may be contacted through this e-mail